I was at a business meeting during the week when a guy came up and said in hushed tones, “I’d be keen to have a chat with you about meditation”. Nothing too unusual really. He knew I meditated and was interested in knowing more. We’d had a few conversations previously and he was a really good guy to talk to. But what struck me was the hesitancy. The uncertainty with which the question was asked. Not sure whether he really should be asking. Not knowing what he was potentially getting himself in for by just asking the question.
He confided in not knowing much about meditation and looking upon it with some scepticism in the past, but here he was, now wanting to know more. He’d hit a point where he was now open to it with so much going on in his mind. Trying to get more and more things done in less and less time was sending his mind into a mental spin.
He was interested in giving meditation a try. But there was still a bit of uncertainty. “It’s not something you talk about with your mates down at the pub is it?” Men are closed books to emotions at times. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have them. And it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t acknowledge them. So this also struck me that meditation was potentially being associated with a weakness. A weakness of the mind.
In many ways, the conversation was like looking in a mirror. This was me a few years ago. Doing the same thing. Not sure about this whole meditation idea.
So I talked about my own experiences with meditation, including all the perceptions. And that is what I find fascinating. Perceptions and judgement play such a huge role in modern day society. In my social life, I don’t really talk about meditation much at all. I don’t even get the question “how’s work?” nearly as much as what I did when I was working full time as an accountant. There’s no, “so how was your meditation this week?” And definitely no talk of it at the pub.
It doesn’t happen too often in social settings, but if someone asks about it, then I’m more than willing to share how meditation works for me. Highlighting the benefits I have seen in all parts of my life. It helps my focus and attentiveness. I feel calm and relaxed. And I live far more in the present moment than I ever have in the past. The knock on effect of that. I stress less and have a zest for life that just makes me a better person to be around. Improving all my relationships, especially with the people I hold most dear.
Looking back on that conversation it brought a few things to the forefront of my mind:
- Misconceptions and judgement can have such a negative impact on us all as individuals and potentially stop us from trying new things that have the power to improve our lives. And it’s not easy to have the courage to look beyond them and do what’s right for yourself at times.
- Even though it’s hard, men need to talk about what’s going on in our heads more than what we do. And if that means we need to find ways to be clear on what’s actually going on inside our own heads at times, then that’s something we need to find a way to do as well.
- Meditation is all “me time”. In my mind, meditation can be whatever you want it to be. A way of clearing your mind, a way to being more productive, helping to manage pain or afflictions. But most of all it’s time you have to yourself. To be clear that you are an individual who has their own feelings, thoughts, goals and dreams.
Feel free to share this post with any guys, young or old, who you think may get something out of my learnings from this conversation. And I’m more than happy to share my experience further if anyone wants to get in touch at mail@mymeditationhome.com
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